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miniature review Seven Brothers: a dopey ship that cannot doc and will leave you grumpy

Miniature Review
Seven Brothers: click to enlarge
Seven Brothers

Miniature text:

Mercenary, Turtle Ship. If this ship wins a boarding party, she may take as much treasure from the other ship as she wants, up to her available cargo space.

On the day she set sail, omens said the Seven Brothers would not return to port until her holds had been filled with gold a hundred times.

  • Collector's Number: 215
  • Faction Affiliation: Mercenaries
  • Rarity: PR
  • Type: Ship
  • Point Value: 12
  • Cargo Space: 4
  • Base Move: S
  • Cannons: 2S
  • Number of Masts: 1
Seven Brothers
a dopey ship that cannot doc and will leave you grumpy

written by LV35
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General description:
At best, this ship is a speed bump on your opponents road to victory. At worst, this ship effectively turns itself into a treasure barge for your opponent.

Trading fodder, coaster, unlocking doors like a spy.

Strategies and game play:
Hope your opponent forgets to move his gold runner after collecting gold for a half dozen turns or so. Explore an island and load up on gold. Hope the ram roll goes wrong. If possible, convince your opponent to use this ship!

Combos with other miniatures:
To move, it needs a helmsman. Unfortunately, Mercenary helmsmen are in short supply due to union demands. It can collect gold from an island, but what is a ship that can neither move quickly nor dock going to do with that gold? It can be rammed and derelicted by any ship that moves L or better 83% of the time. For the ONLY possible good use, add a firepot specialist and load up on gold when facing galleys.

Ways to counteract it:
Either escape it, kill it, or attempt to poison it with a poisoned apple. Best of all, let it get a bunch of treasure, ram it, then tow the loot home in the ship.

It has a decent gun and is a turtle ship.

It is so slow that it will never ram or shoot anything.
It cannot dock.
It can only actually hold four of the seven brothers.

Artwork and aesthetics:
Looks like a turtle ship, quite fun looking.

Overall rating:
I give it a 1.


Modified on June 13, 2013 04:35 pm

Current score for this Miniature Review, based on 17 votes:
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Discussion about this Miniature Review
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United States

Avatar for colringbk
Subject:    Posted: November 26, 2007 11:58 am Reply with quote Report content icon

Very funny and creative. Though, a 1 is maybe too generous of a rating for this ship. It'd be interesting to see if anyone ever DOES use this ship.
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United States

Avatar for darrin
Subject:    Posted: November 26, 2007 12:31 pm Reply with quote Report content icon

Wow, nice review. It's nice to see one of the worst ships for a change, instead of the best. In fact, this is a contender for The Worst Ship in the Game... if I had to choose between this and La Repulsa... I don't know, that'd be a tough call, although this one is two points cheaper.
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United States

Avatar for colringbk
Subject:    Posted: November 26, 2007 02:29 pm Reply with quote Report content icon

Wow, I think Le Solitaire would rank as worst ship ever IMO. But this one is useless.
Back to top Modified on November 26, 2007 02:32 pm 
United States

Avatar for captain_arrr
Subject:    Posted: December 4, 2007 04:32 pm Reply with quote Report content icon

Hey look on the bright side, if it gets rammed, it doesn't effect its movement!

Seriously, the worst part of this ship is its cost! 12 points!!!!!!!!!!!!
Back to top Modified on December 4, 2007 04:33 pm 
United States

Avatar for mercenary30
Subject: A little history on the Seven Brothers…..   Posted: December 5, 2007 09:01 am Reply with quote Report content icon

The Turtle Ship, Seven Brothers was owned by the Gredi Gies family. There are actually seven brothers and a sister, but they decided that name was too long.

It is said that the Seven Brothers would not return to home port until its holds had been filled with gold a hundred times, but that omen was misread. It should have been interpreted to say that it would only return home with gold one time in a hundred tries!

The design of the ship was to accommodate a large amount of cargo but the consequence was a steady but slow ship.

The local trade cartel banished the Gredi Gies family because they could never make a deadline, so they had to go Mercenary to keep the family business going. Secretly, the trade cartels hire the Seven Brothers to act as a decoy ship hoping to lure pirates away from their real shipments.

The cannon on the Seven Brothers has been updated to a top of the line model because they needed a better defense against the nearly constant attempts at boarding by nearly every ship that sees her sails.
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Avatar for lordstu
Subject:    Posted: December 28, 2010 07:22 pm Reply with quote Report content icon

Great review, tongue-firmly-in-cheek stuff - I never made the Seven Dwarves connection before.
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United States

Avatar for moogaffy
Subject:    Posted: January 1, 2011 10:57 am Reply with quote Report content icon

Happy new year everyone!

Anyway, I think a 1 is a bit high for an expensive mercenary ship with S movement, shabby cargo space, nearly useless ability and S range cannon.

What would you guys give it? I would give it a -1.

And one thing, have you guys heard of the Marrakesh? It's absolutely 100% useless. And it's awesome.
Back to top Modified on January 1, 2011 11:01 am 
LV34 Canada send message

Avatar for bootstrapbill
Member since
August 21, 2007
Subject: Apologies   Posted: July 13, 2012 02:00 pm Reply with quote Report content icon

Sorry for the bad pun in the vote comment.

I can't say I am a fan of a ship that costs literally 12 points per mast - there are very few more expensive ships than that (I think even Fantasia is cheaper than that). The only good thing about expensive ships is that you can sometimes pull them in sealed pack games which makes the point cost irrelevant - and this is a SE ship so you can't even do that with this ship!!
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a7xfanben Premium Member
LV96 United States send message

Avatar for a7xfanben
Member since
June 27, 2011
Subject:    Posted: August 8, 2012 08:06 am Reply with quote Report content icon

She may not be a useful ship, but I would at least mention that you can use her to steal treasure, and then offload it onto other runners that can dock (or use Fiore to cancel the Mercenary keyword).

Also, her cargo space is actually quite good for a 1 master, even if she doesn't really need it.

I just thought it was a bit too short, even for a ship that you would never want to use. Bad ships can still be beefed up.
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Avatar for lt_v
Subject:    Posted: August 18, 2012 04:55 pm Reply with quote Report content icon

Awesome! I had not seen this ship until is a real stinkaroo but I thought your review was pretty good
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