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miniature review Constitution: A review like no other! (seriously.)

Miniature Review
Constitution: click to enlarge
Constitution

Miniature text:

Two hits from the same shoot action are required to eliminate one of this ship's masts.

Sailors nicknamed her "Old Ironsides" because she could take a full broadsides attack without a chip to her hull - and her crew are the best-trained navy men in America.

  • Collector's Number: 068
  • Faction Affiliation: America
  • Rarity: R
  • Type: Ship
  • Point Value: 22
  • Cargo Space: 4
  • Base Move: L
  • Cannons: 3L-3L-3L-3L-3L
  • Number of Masts: 5
Constitution
A review like no other! (seriously.)

written by captainhawkins
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Step right up folks, we have a fight for the ages here! The American fleet has decided to go toe to toe, mano y mano, gun to gun in a 3-stage knock 'em sock 'em slugfest to determine just which American ship is the best of the best! At stake, pride, bragging rights, and the position of flagship for captain Hawkins's American deathmatch fleet! Let's meet the competitors!

The Constitution Comes in as our #1 seed and the overall favorite. While her speed is subpar, her killer guns and indestructable hull make her nearly impossible to kill! I'm not sure if she can be beat, folks.
The USS Stephens has become a dark horse in this competition, taking the second seed. Can her maneuverability prove the Constitution's undoing?
The Blackwatch has taken third seed with accuracy and range. Will speed prove to be a downfall? Watch out for this one, folks.
The Enterprise takes fourth seed with astounding maneuverability and accuracy, but her achilles heel remains with her range.
Rounding out our competitors with seeds 5 through 8 are The USS Concordia(5) The USS Thomas Jefferson(6) The Bonhomme Richard(7) and The United States.(8th)

ROUND 1:
Constitution(1) vs United States(8th)
The favorite takes on the Ol' War Wagon. Will the underdog broadsides her way through, or will Ol' Ironsides prevail in her first test?
RESULT:A missed broadsides from the United States and Ol' Ironsides makes her pay! Constitution wins!

USS Stephens(2) vs Bonhomme Richard(7)
This one may be close, as the Bonhomme Richard takes the speed advantage. Will we see an upset?
RESULT:A drawn out battle folks, but it looks like the Stephens has prevailed! Repeated volleys followed by boardings wore the crew of the United States down but the Stephens has been left bloodied. Stephens wins!

Blackwatch(3) vs USS Thomas Jefferson(6)
The Blackwatch matches Jefferson's guns for accuracy and takes the range advantage. Should be an easy one here.
RESULT:WE HAVE AN UPSET! The first of the tourney as the Jefferson breaks out the old "volley like heck and board from S away" technique to take out a tournament favorite! Jefferson wins! Guy Laplante would be proud.

Enterprise(4) vs USS Concordia(5)
With the Bonhomme Richard out, John Paul Jones is now commanding the Enterprise. He will go up against Captain Montana Mays of the Concordia. Both ships' crew cannot be killed, both may take an extra action. However, the Concordia's cannons cannot be eliminated while the Enterprise's can. I expect an upset here.
RESULT:No! The Enterprise displays shocking speed, closing in on the Concordia before she could fire a shot! Every shot absolutely perfect, and she went down without a fight! What a performance from the Enterprise and what a way to close round 1!

Grab a soda and popcorn folks and enjoy the most recent top 40 hits while we break for the round!
****************************************************************************

Welcome back to the American flagship tournament! The question? Who IS America's best flagship? Favorite Constitution is still in it, as is underdog USS Thomas Jefferson, suprising us with the only upset in round 1. Will its cinderella story continue? Let's find out!

ROUND 2:
Constitution(1) vs USS Thomas Jefferson(6)
TJ gave us a suprise last time with a victory over the Blackwatch, this should be an interesting match. Perhaps there's hope for a cinderella story yet?
RESULT:TJ tried the same tactic, but took out only two masts and couldn't win the boarding. The Constitution made her pay with a thunderous volley that crippled TJ. Alas, the Cinderella story is over. Constitution wins!

USS Stephens(2) vs Enterprise(5)
The Enterprise shocked everyone with a dominating performance over the Concordia in round one. She's up against a highly seeded USS Stephens, who was bloodied in her first fight but emerged victorious. This one's a toss up.
RESULT:Another dominating performance by the Enterprise! Not quite as clean this time but there was no question behind who would win this one! Who IS this crew that Jones is leading?? Can they beat the Constitution in Round 3 and take the title?? Let's take a deeper look at the crew behind the ships.

Constitution:
Commander Steven Decateur
Wayne Nolan
Diamond Nelson Turner
Captain
Helmsman

A possibility for an extra action in addition to a reroll and protection of a crew portected her from Thomas Jefferson's boarding. A tricky canceller cancelled the United States's broadsides attempt. Altogether an extremely hard ship to take down.

Enterprise:
John Paul Jones
Brent Rice
Captain
Helmsman
Cannoneer

More generic crew here, but that's not to say worse. Jones has turned this ship into an attacking monster. S+S+S base move with not one but TWO chances to double that. (Jones stacks with the Enterprise's ability because Jones is a SAT crew while Enterprise is simply an extra action type skill.) +1 to cannon rolls with Rice gives her ALL rank 1 guns and a cannoneer to ensure everyone hits. The final is going to be the unstoppable object meets the immovable force. A battle of the opposites. A stars and stripes brawl with two very different approaches. Who's it going to be? It's... It's....

...

THE ENTERPRISE!!! She's taken down the favorite and stolen the crown! She's done it! Absolutely no misses and Turner couldn't cancel both the Enterprise and Jones's abilities. She took some fire but pounded the Constitution into submission! All Hail the Enterprise! She wins the American tournament!

(You thought the review would be about the Constitution didn't ya? Nope. It's a bit of a review on multiple American gunships, focusing mainly on the Enterprise, which I believe the is the best american gunship. Just picked the Constitution title because I thought more people would click on it as opposed to the lesser known Enterprise. I'm sneaky like that. Anyways, hope this format wasn't too long, and I promise I'll add in the other tags later. Too tired right now )

Oh, and I hinted at my next review somewhere in this one. Let's see if anyone finds the hint.

 

Modified on August 20, 2012 07:37 am



Rating
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 4.63
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Discussion about this Miniature Review
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bootstrapbill
LV32 Canada send message

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Member since
August 21, 2007
Subject: ARE you READY TO RRRRRRUMMBLE!!!!   Posted: June 29, 2012 05:57 am Reply with quote Report content icon

Excellent idea!! Actually pitting ships against each other and running the numbers - full of useful info I may use the same approach to test some of my favorite American ships (Roanoke among them) against the results of this review.
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lordstu
Canada

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Subject:    Posted: June 29, 2012 07:09 pm Reply with quote Report content icon

Congrats on a really original idea for a review! I like when people have ideas like this, as they keep things fresh...but now for my two cents:

I can understand leaving the Morning Star out, as well as the Roanoke(although if Blackheart were aboard, who knows what could happen?), but the USS Atlanta might have a case for being included, especially with the right equipment on board.

I realize only proper ships-of-the-line were invited to the dance, but I imagine the crews of the USS Kettering and the Franklin, even though they might be punching a bit above their weight, might be feeling a bit left out.
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captainhawkins
United States

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Subject:    Posted: June 29, 2012 10:55 pm Reply with quote Report content icon


quote from lordstu:

Congrats on a really original idea for a review! I like when people have ideas like this, as they keep things fresh...but now for my two cents:

I can understand leaving the Morning Star out, as well as the Roanoke(although if Blackheart were aboard, who knows what could happen?), but the USS Atlanta might have a case for being included, especially with the right equipment on board.

I realize only proper ships-of-the-line were invited to the dance, but I imagine the crews of the USS Kettering and the Franklin, even though they might be punching a bit above their weight, might be feeling a bit left out.

The USS Atlanta *just* missed the cut. She was in the original draft, but I replaced her when I realized I had left out the Blackwatch.
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lord_denton
LV41 United States send message

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Member since
June 10, 2008
Subject:    Posted: July 1, 2012 03:00 pm Reply with quote Report content icon

Well, very interesting and refreshing approach to a review, that's for sure. A very good concept, to say the least. I have a few doubts about the actual execution of it, though. As has been said, the choices for inclusion in the tournament is debatable, and it might have been a sound strategy at going for an all-inclusive tournament, Morning Stars and Roanokes and all. A more thorough review of the rules and regulations and reasoning would have been appreciated. Like, why did you choose the crew you did? Because the cancelers might have made a difference more than anything, or at least more than the individual ships themselves. And if the Constitution could just cancel the United States's Broadsides Attack, why didn't the United States have a canceler aboard to cancel the Constitution's canceler? A bit more detail and looks in-depth would have been appreciated, although I did really like the sports-caster type voice style in your writing, it was very entertaining, although a bit more of the play-by-play to clue us in would have been helpful.

... Although, the ships have very different point costs, so there is reason for arming them to the teeth to capitalize on their strengths... Was points any factor in this? Because a cheaper ship like the Atlanta might make things be more flexible than the Constitution, making the rest of your fleet make up for it... Or was it just an utter slugfest, for you to determine the very best flagship, and just let the rest of your fleet fall in behind it? I think if you had armed them similarly in a reasonable deathmatch scenario (Like, all ships have crew with chances at SAT or extra actions or cancelers) while also capitalizing on the individual ship's strengths, it would work out more fairly. Did you fight these matches out with yourself or somebody else? Skills at handling can factor into this...

That said, for all my critiques, it was a very good and interesting review, and you can tell I like the concept and theory behind it a lot. Just a few questions on the execution. It will either score a 4 or a 5 in my book.
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captainhawkins
United States

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Subject:    Posted: July 1, 2012 10:33 pm Reply with quote Report content icon


quote from lord_denton:

Well, very interesting and refreshing approach to a review, that's for sure. A very good concept, to say the least. I have a few doubts about the actual execution of it, though. As has been said, the choices for inclusion in the tournament is debatable, and it might have been a sound strategy at going for an all-inclusive tournament, Morning Stars and Roanokes and all. A more thorough review of the rules and regulations and reasoning would have been appreciated. Like, why did you choose the crew you did? Because the cancelers might have made a difference more than anything, or at least more than the individual ships themselves. And if the Constitution could just cancel the United States's Broadsides Attack, why didn't the United States have a canceler aboard to cancel the Constitution's canceler? A bit more detail and looks in-depth would have been appreciated, although I did really like the sports-caster type voice style in your writing, it was very entertaining, although a bit more of the play-by-play to clue us in would have been helpful.

... Although, the ships have very different point costs, so there is reason for arming them to the teeth to capitalize on their strengths... Was points any factor in this? Because a cheaper ship like the Atlanta might make things be more flexible than the Constitution, making the rest of your fleet make up for it... Or was it just an utter slugfest, for you to determine the very best flagship, and just let the rest of your fleet fall in behind it? I think if you had armed them similarly in a reasonable deathmatch scenario (Like, all ships have crew with chances at SAT or extra actions or cancelers) while also capitalizing on the individual ship's strengths, it would work out more fairly. Did you fight these matches out with yourself or somebody else? Skills at handling can factor into this...

That said, for all my critiques, it was a very good and interesting review, and you can tell I like the concept and theory behind it a lot. Just a few questions on the execution. It will either score a 4 or a 5 in my book.

Each ship does have its own unique setup. I was debating including them but some ships had overlapping characters. (Enterprise and Bonhomme Richard commanded by John Paul Jones for example.) And I also thought it would get too lengthy. In short, each ship had the setup I like using most for that ship in a fight. For the Constitution/U.S. fight, the United States' build was

Jonathan Haraden
Helmsman
Captain Montana Mays (MI)

Designed to maximize attack, broadsiding and if it doesn't work then there's two chances to roll a 5 or 6 for another action.

USS Thomas Jefferson's was based around the awesome combination it has with Master CPO Charles Richard.
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admiralwhitbeck
United States

Avatar for admiralwhitbeck
Subject: Good review, but...   Posted: July 31, 2012 09:38 pm Reply with quote Report content icon

Too bad Brent Rice's ability only works against non-American ships. I have always liked the Enterprise more though, built in extra actions are the best
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